In Sickness and in Health

On December 4th of last year, I took my wife Gay to the hospital with 4 sores on her legs. Little did I know then what the next four months would be like.

Gay was admitted to the hospital, and the doctors thought she had MRSA, an antibiotic resistant form of staph. The infection had entered her bloodstream, and she was extremely ill. On December 5th at about 10:30 PM, she was taken in for emergency surgery to remove the infected areas. Luckily, after this surgery she began to get better. The cultures came back and the infection was not MRSA, and the doctors were able to change her antibiotics to target the specific infection she had. She still required one more surgery, although the surgeon told us that he did not have to do much. Gay stayed in the hospital for nearly two weeks.

All of this obviously happened during final paper and exam time at Wake, but the faculty, staff, and student body were extremely supportive. I received calls, emails and visits from those associated with the divinity school and all of my professors gave me more time to finish my work. My church, First Baptist High Point, was also wonderful. I always knew that help was only a phone call away. Whether I needed someone to sit with me during surgery, or just someone to talk to, the staff and membership were there to support me.

Gay came home the week before Christmas, but all of her wounds still required cleaning, packing, and dressing twice daily. When we left the hospital we were told that a home health care nurse would take care of this for us. On the first visit, however, the nurse told us that our insurance would not cover daily visits and I would be the one caring for the wounds.

There were four wounds that needed care. The least severe was about a 5 inch long wound on her right thigh. The second was about a 1 by 2 inch wound in her groin. The third was about a four inch wound shaped like a spoon on her right thigh. The final wound, on her butt, was about 1 inch by 2 inches but about 4 inches deep. Twice a day, I had to remove the old packing, clean each wound, soak gauze in saline, pack each wound full of this gauze and then bandage over them. Had you asked me whether or not I would have been able to do this, I would have said no. But, it is amazing what you can do for the one you love when you have no other choice.

Luckily when I came home my parents were here to help out. I was too tired to be much good to anyone and they took care of food, shopping, and prescriptions. Church folks were also bringing us meals every other day. The plans were for my mother to stay through my upcoming trip to Egypt to help out while my dad would go home. Unfortunately, on December 23, my father had a kidney stone attack that would require surgery, so my mother went home to be with him. This left Gay and I home alone for Christmas, but we tried to make the best of it.

Two weeks and one day after Gay came home for the hospital, I had to do what was, for me, unthinkable: I had to leave Gay and go half-way around the world to Egypt for two weeks. I had already paid for the trip, through a grant and some contributions, the trip was non-refundable, and I needed the credit to graduate, so there was not much choice. My mother agreed to stay with Gay for the duration of the trip, which was great, and I am glad I did it, but that did not make it any easier. Luckily the hotel where we stayed in Cairo was across the street from a shopping center with not 1, not 2, but 3 internet cafes. All of the computers were equipped with cameras and microphones, so I was able to talk to Gay every night via Skype. Being able to see and hear her let me know she was doing ok.

School was supposed to start a few days after we got back, but my first day of class was snowed out which gave me more of a chance to recover. I started back to school, but I still had a lot of work from the previous semester to get caught up on.

At the end of January, I went to Atlanta to attend the New Baptist Covenant meeting. It was a great experience (this will be yet another blog post coming up) and Gay stayed with family in Columbus while I was in Atlanta. I came back on Saturday afternoon, we attended the Christening of our second God-daughter on Sunday, and prepared to go home on Monday. By Sunday night a pain Gay had in her abdomen had become intense, and by Monday morning the area was bright red. So, we took her to a walk-in clinic on Monday afternoon. She had another infection, although this one was early on. The doctor drained it and told us to come back the next morning, which we did. When the doctor saw her again, he said the antibiotics appeared to be working and said we could go back to Winston and follow up with her doctor there. Back in Winston, the doctor put her on IV antibiotics that were supposed to be done by home health care. Well, yet again the insurance would not pay for that (and yet there are those who say there is no health care crisis in this country.) Instead she had to go to the hospital every day for the IV. Keep in mind this is in the middle of one of the worst flu outbreaks North Carolina has had in recent years. So many of days started off with me taking Gay to the hospital and dropping her off, going to class, going back to the hospital, picking her up, taking her to the doctor's office, taking her somewhere to get lunch, taking her home, and then returning to class. It was very hard to get caught up with that kind of schedule.

We thought that everything was almost over and Gay woke up one morning and the area on her abdomen was swollen and draining again. We took her to the doctor, and he told her she would miss another week of work and changed her antibiotics again.

Well, I am pleased that I can now report that Gay is doing much better. She is back at work, although she is not back at full speed. As of last week, I am caught up in Divinity School, so graduation in May should happen without a hitch. I have started the job search process, so if any of my readers know of any positions that fit me, let me know by using the e-mail address on the right. I will post some pictures from Egypt and my thoughts on the New Baptist Covenant very soon.

For family and friends, please let me know if you are interested in coming to graduation or a graduation party that will be held at FBC High Point. You can leave me a comment on this post, and I will get in touch with you. Don't worry, all comments are private unless I choose to make them public, so you can leave your e-mail address without worry.

Thanks again for those who have prayed and helped Gay and me through this very difficult time.

I am in Egypt

I am in Egypt with Wake Forest Divinity, and I am one of two official bloggers for the trip. Check out the blog at http://wfudsegypt08.blogspot.com

I'm Back

I have not posted an update for quite a while. I am nearly halfway through my final year of Divinity School at Wake Forest University, and I have just been extremely busy and doing more writing is one of the last things I want to do. So, here's what has been going on.

Gay is enjoying her new job as Minister to Children at First Baptist Church of High Point. I am interning there as well. I am teaching the young adult class on Sunday mornings, and we had 35 in class two weeks ago! There is a lot of energy in the class even though we have been discussing stewardship! I have also taught on Wednesday nights and preached at a service held by the Vietnamese mission at the church. We are both learning a lot and have enjoyed getting to know a new congregation and a new staff.

Perhaps the most exciting news is my upcoming trip to Egypt. I will be spending nearly two weeks in Egypt after Christmas with a class from the Divinity School. The trip is a part of the Cultural Immersion program at the divinity school at Wake. Egypt is a very unique place because of the large role it played in the development of early Christianity, and the existence of the Coptic Orthodox church alongside a population that is predominantly Muslim. Of course, we will also have the opportunity to see the pyramids and other historic sites as well. There is little doubt that one of the biggest issues the world will face in the 21st century is the relationship between Christians and Muslims, and I feel very fortunate to have the opportunity to study this relationship first hand, even if it is only for a couple weeks.

I have registered for my classes for next semester, and my schedule looks like this:

Gender and Family in Early Christianity
Introduction to Pastoral Counseling
Formational and Transformational Practices in Christian Education
Multicultural Contexts for Ministry: Egypt
Topics: New Baptist Covenant (attending the event in Atlanta)
Pastoral Preaching
Art of Ministry III (Internship)

I am also beginning my job search, so if any readers know of a church looking for someone like me, let me know and I will send a resume.

WMU of North Carolina - Not Submitting!

For the past several years, the Baptist State Convention of North Carolina has been trying to gain control of the Women's Missionary Union or WMU. So far, they have been unable to do so. Fortunately, it appears that the WMU of North Carolina has taken a definitive step to halt the Baptist State Convention's attempts for control. This is move that took real courage on the part of the WMU leadership, and it is going to require some real courage from the women in Baptist Churches throughout North Carolina as I am sure many male pastors attempt to cut off the WMU. In response, CBF of North Carolina has approved an emergency offering for the WMU. You can read about it here. Hopefully, the moderate Baptists of North Carolina can step up and support the WMU through what will, undoubtedly, be a difficult time for them. My prayers are with the leadership and staff of the WMU through this difficult time.

The following article was posted on Associated Baptist Press:

North Carolina WMU decides to leave convention’s control

By ABP staff

Published: August 22, 2007

CARY, N.C. (ABP) -- The Woman’s Missionary Union of North Carolina has voted to remove itself from the North Carolina Baptist Building -- and the state convention executive director’s attempt to assert authority over its staff.

The dramatic move culminates 16 months of tension between WMU and the rightward-shifting Baptist State Convention of North Carolina.

Conflict between the missions-promotion group and BSCNC has simmered since April 2006, when the WMU leadership voted to change the term that described its relationship with the convention from “auxiliary” to “cooperative partner.”

At that time it also assumed final authority in its own personnel matters, although it committed to stay aligned with Baptist State Convention personnel policies. At issue was who could make the final call on potential new hires, a responsibility claimed by the BSCNC executive director-treasurer because each state WMU staff member is a BSCNC employee.

However, the WMU staff positions are mainly funded through a state missions offering that WMU members promote.

Several meetings took place between WMU-NC and BSCNC leadership to resolve the issues, but they reached an impasse when neither side would budge from their position on ultimate authority in hiring WMU-NC staff.

WMU-NC board members approved the move via conference call Aug. 16 and communicated results to BSCNC executive leadership Aug. 21. WMU-NC reported that 25 of the WMU-NC executive board’s 30 members were on the call and 23 voted in favor of the move, with one voting to oppose it and one abstention. The board’s executive committee had earlier recommended the change.

The decision to relocate offices “should not be interpreted as a departure from the organization’s commitment to supporting and promoting missions through the BSCNC, nor as a lack of appreciation for the mutual partnership the organizations have enjoyed in the past,” Ruby Fulbright, WMU-NC executive director, said in a written statement.

After meeting with BSCNC Executive Director Milton Hollifield to inform him of WMU-NC’s decision, she said, “For the integrity of the organization and our history and for what God wants us to do, this is what we had to do.”

Hollifield, who was elected in April 2006, said in a prepared statement that he was “grieved that the longstanding relationship between the BSCNC [and] WMU of NC has moved to this level of consequential uncertainty.”

“We have participated in more than 16 months of dialogue, and it was my hope that this process had helped move us forward together,” Hollifield said. “However, BSCNC leadership was not given the opportunity to discuss this surprise vote by WMU-NC. Anytime we are faced with the desire of an entity to separate from BSCNC it is a terribly unsettling circumstance. I am saddened to see that our long standing relationship of trust and accountability has eroded.”

Fulbright noted that Hollifield has taken a more active role in hiring matters. She said that in previous BSCNC administrations, WMU-NC was wholly responsible for hiring and managing its staff and that the BSCNC executive director merely signed paperwork to enter new WMU-NC employees into the payroll system.

Hollifield was elected to his position in 2006. Conservatives supportive of recent decades’ rightward shift in the national Southern Baptist Convention solidified their control of the North Carolina convention -- long a moderate bastion -- in the years just prior to Hollifield’s appointment.

SBC conservatives at the national level as well as in other state conventions have similarly tried to rein in WMU leadership, with little success. The organization was founded in the late 1800s as an auxiliary to the SBC, and has governed itself since. National WMU receives no funds from the SBC, but promotes the denomination’s missionary work and offerings.

Fulbright said churches that rely on WMU-NC for assistance should see no change. “We intend to continue working with the churches. We intend to keep praying for, promoting, and supporting the offerings, as well as providing missions education resources and training.”

WMU-NC wants to resource other Baptist entities in mission education and involvement, Fulbright said. That includes assistance to churches that affiliate with other denominations and with bodies such as the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship and the Baptist World Alliance. The SBC’s conservative leaders have been highly critical of both groups.

Hollifield said such an intention was “a clear departure from the historic focus of the mission and ministry of WMU-NC of NC.”

WMU-NC has asked the BSCNC for a nine-month financial transition to deal with insurance and payroll issues, although it might move out of the Baptist Building sooner. Fulbright said the WMU-NC staff will all resign employment from BSCNC and remain with WMU-NC.

WMU-NC has nine employees at the BSCNC central office in Cary, N.C., near Raleigh and Durham. WMU-NC also employs two part-time workers and the facilities manager at Camp Mundo Vista, near Asheboro, N.C.

WMU-NC also wants to continue receiving funds through the North Carolina Missions Offering (NCMO), an annual state-wide offering that provides funds for WMU-NC, North Carolina Baptist Men, church planting, and a variety of other projects.

Hollifield said the 2007 NCMO distribution must follow the allocation percentages already approved by messengers to the last convention annual meeting. But he also said he would not speculate about either the BSCNC Executive Committee’s willingness to continue transition funding or about future NCMO allocations.

“I am hopeful that some level of continued cooperation might be salvaged, but rest assured there will be missions education ministries and women’s ministries provided through BSCNC with or without WMU of NC’s cooperation,” Hollifield said.

The 2007 NCMO goal is $2.53 million. If fully funded, WMU-NC would receive $867,437, or 33.6 percent, of the total. That represents their program budget, including salaries. Benefits, insurance, automobiles, office space and technology are provided through the state convention’s general budget. According to BSCNC officials, the annual value of the benefits provided directly by the convention exceeds $400,000.

Fulbright said WMU-NC has received a preliminary offer of alternative office space in the Raleigh area at a reasonable cost.

-- Robert Marus contributed to this story.

Graduation Schedule!

This post is really only useful for family and close friends. As many of you know, I will be graduating from Wake Forest University Divinity School next May. I have been asked to post the schedule here. If there is a possibility you will be coming to graduation, and have not talked to me about it yet, please leave me a comment or send me an e-mail so that I can try to get you a ticket.

May 8 - Last Day of Exams
May 17 - Hooding Ceremony (Saturday)
May 18 - I am hoping to preach. (Sunday)
May 19 - Graduation with a party to follow. (Monday)

If you have any questions about the above schedule, please let me know.

I added a countdown to the column on the right!

Baptists and Democracy: Messy and Difficult

There are two things that have been worrying me recently: the state of the Baptist church and the state of our national government. Believe it or not, I am beginning to think the problems in these organizations are more similar than you may think.

Let's first consider the question of leadership. Where does the power in both of these systems really lie?

Historically, Baptists have always practiced congregational polity. This means that the congregation, not the pastor or deacons (the misunderstood role of deacons will be the topic of another post), should be the final authority on ALL matters. In my experience, the constitutions of most Baptist churches have a clause that says exactly that. However, it has also been my experience that many Baptist churches fail miserably at putting this into practice. There seems to be a feeling that if the pastor and/or deacons decide something, the church must follow it. Interestingly, even if the decision violates the church constitution, it is often allowed to stand. Sadly and more importantly, even if the decision violates the teachings of the Bible, it is often allowed to stand. The pastor acts more like a CEO than the shepherd of his congregation and the congregation put their faith in him (or her), rather than in the Lord. Congregations like these often place "congregational health" above the truth. I prefer to side with Martin Luther who said, "Peace if possible, truth at all costs." Secrecy and lies only poison a congregation; they do not, and cannot, heal.

Congregational polity does have a weakness, however. It requires a very educated congregation. It requires a congregation that knows the Bible -- a congregation that is willing and able to listen to its leaders with a critical ear. Christianity is not as simple as some would like for us to believe. For most questions, there is not "an answer," rather there are multiple answers. This makes a lot of people very uncomfortable. They want to come to church and be told what the answers are -- they don't have the time or desire to study themselves - that's what pastors and Sunday School teachers are for. This is why congregations follow leaders who are not following the Bible: they simply do not know better.

In the next post, we'll move from local churches to the national government.

Christian Fighting...

I don't mind admitting that I have been discouraged lately. The church can be a very discouraging place to be sometimes. I have been involved in two congregations that seem to spend more time fighting than doing anything else and where truth was far down on the list of priorities.

There are two ways that the problem can be fixed. First, Christian ministers and laity can learn how to talk and, more importantly, disagree with each other without resorting to name calling. I was talking to a deacon in another church recently who told me that one of the board of deacons stood up, pointed his finger at people and started calling them liberals, post-moderns, etc. While these labels may have some useful academic purposes of identifying different theologies, I do not believe they have a place in church meetings when they are being used to degrade others. (Also, I think most people only have "stereotype" understandings of these terms, and have no idea what they really mean.) None of us has all the answers, and we have to be able to admit that.

For we know only in part, and we prophesy only in part; but when the complete comes, the partial will come to an end. When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known.

The above quote is from 1 Corinthians 13 commonly known as the love chapter and it is familiar to most Christians. However, many Christians do not realize is its context. It immediately follows Paul's discussion of spiritual gifts. When considered in that context, the message becomes apparent. Even if I am the most spiritually gifted person in a deacon's meeting, if I do not have love for my fellow Christians, I have nothing. I think it is also a pretty strong condemnation of Christians acting like Children. How do Children act? Well, when children disagree, sometimes you hear them say they are going to take their toys and go home because they don't agree with something that is going on. Ever hear a Christian say he or she is going to take his tithe to another church that will appreciate it? Or a pastor say if you don't do it his way, he won't do it at all? We have to remember who we serve. We are not serving ourselves or even our pastor; we are serving our Lord.

Don't get me wrong. There are times when Christians can and should disagree, but there is a right way to do it. For instance, one should always stand up for the truth (something that seems to happen all too seldom), but he can do it in a way that does not demean others.

The second way this will be fixed is very simple. People will simply stop coming to church. Whether it is fair or not, people hold their church leaders, whether they are ministers, deacons or other leaders, to a higher standard. This is especially true of non-Christians. Many are just looking for a reason to ignore Christianity or support their conception that we are all just a bunch of hypocrites.

Churches have to realize that this childlike behavior is not only driving away church members, it is also discouraging people from going into full time Christian service in the local church.